If President Trump were to ever appear on Scooby Doo Porn ParodyHGTV's House Hunters,he'd be the guy obsessed with getting the double sink in his personal bathroom and a huge backyard for his grill which, guaranteed, he does not know how to use.
So it's only natural that the President would call the White House (retail value: approximately $1 gazillion space dollars) a "dump" in a conversation with friends at his Bedminster Golf Club. What's the White House next to one of Trump's 1 karat gold palaces, with spaces uniquely designed for extramarital threesomes and cutting overpriced blow?
Let's allow Yelp to tell the story.
SEE ALSO: Here's what healthcare would look like if we took President Trump literallyHere's how Trump's properties stack up next to that dump of a White House, according to the good people at Yelp, Trip Advisor and Google.
Visitors love Trump properties because of how beautifully they blend in with their local environments
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable It's the attention to detail that makes a Trump property so uniquely Trump
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Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Nothing says class like "peanut -illed turds" and bed pubes
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Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable The world's most powerful and distinguished elites call Trump properties home
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Simply walking through a Trump property is a therapeutic experience in it of itself
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Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Farm-to table-to-Trump
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Why have the White House when you can have this?
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Featured Video For You
Bizarre moments from Sean Spicer's short stint at the White House
